Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
