Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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