It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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