Tell her she can't have a vagina
Fuck appropriateness.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
