Small penises have feelings too.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
