you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
