I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
