i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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