People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
