Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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