this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
