my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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