I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
