he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
