Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
