Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
