Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Randomize
