Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
