We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
