If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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