does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
