There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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