Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
