Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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