Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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