I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
another moral hangover. fuck.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
