The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
