btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
