GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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