it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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