I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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