I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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