I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
