I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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