ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
