Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
