He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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