Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
