If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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