You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize