how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
