You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Swine flu is the new snow day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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