The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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