So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
