So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
