There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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