Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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