I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
