For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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