i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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