Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i dont even know how to be here
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
