Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I skipped work to stalk him.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize