i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
