$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need water and some morals
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
