He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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