I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
