Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
