At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
