This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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