Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
