dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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