she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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