You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
