Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
