I skipped work to stalk him.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
