im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're a waste of cheezeits
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
