She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
