sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm having to shit out rocks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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